me-ceptive's avatar

me-ceptive

bad puns and general stupidness
22 Watchers16 Deviations
8K
Pageviews

Dear Kawai,

7 min read
Dear :iconkawaaaai:
I don't really know how to tell you this, but I dislike your eyelashes. I think I realized it when I quoted Forrest Gump in your closet and I saw you sit on your "My Little Pony" collection. I'm sure you're cowardly enough to understand that your driving sucksI'm returning your car to you, but I'll keep your collection of butterflies as a memory. You should also know that I always will remember the pep talks and you ruined my attempts at another world war.
Best of luck on the sex change,
:iconme-ceptive:


i'm cryING HELP

How to do this:

Dear (choose a random person(the person you will tag I guess .o.)) ,                             
I don't really know how to tell you this, but (1). I think I realized it when (2) (3) and I saw you (4) (5). I'm sure you're (6) enough to understand (7) .I'm returning (8) to you, but I'll keep (9) as a memory. You should also know that I (10) and (11).
(12),
(Your name)


1) What's the color of your shirt?
Blue - I'm in love with your cat
Red - Our affair is over
White - The rainbow hedgehogs want to destroy you
Black -Our romance is over
Green- Our socks don't match
Grey - You're a leprechaun
Yellow - I'm selling myself for candy
Pink - Your nostrils are insulting
Brown - The mafia wants you
No shirt - I'm joining the Convent
Other -I dislike your eyelashes

2) Which is your birth month?
January - That night you picked your nose
February -When I quoted Forrest Gump
March - When your dwarf bit me
April - When I tripped on Nutella
May - When I threw up in your sock drawer
June - When you put cuffs on me
July – When I saw the purple monkey
August - When you smacked my ass
September - When we skinny dipped in the bathtub
October -Last year when you peed your pants
November - When your dog humped my leg
December - When I finally changed my underwear

3) Which food do you prefer?
Tacos - As you were eating Kraft Dinner
Chicken- In your car
Pasta - Outside of your office
Hamburgers - Under the bus
Salad – In your apartment
Lasagna - In your closet
Kebab - With Jean Chrétien
Seafood - In a clown suit
Sandwiches - At the Elton John concert
Pizza - At the mental hospital
Hot dog - Under a street light
Annat- With George Bush and Stephen Harper

4) What's the color of your socks?
Yellow - Ignore
Red - Put whipped cream on
Black - Hit on
Blue - Knock out
Purple - Pour syrup on
White - Carve your initials into
Grey - Pull the clothes off
Brown - bit of
Orange - Castrate
Pink - Pull the pants off of
Barefoot - Sit on
Other - Drive over

5) What's the color of your underwear?
Black - My boyfriend
White - My father
Grey – The Catholic Priest
Brown – The Montreal Canadiens' goalie
Purple - My corned beef hash
Red – My knee caps
Blue - My salt-beef bucket
Yellow - My illegitimate child in Ghana
Orange - My Blink 182 CD
Pink – Your "My Little Pony" collection
Other - The elephant in the corner

6) What do you prefer to watch on TV?
One Tree Hill - Senile
Heroes- Frostbitten
Lost - High
Simpsons- Cowardly
The news - Scarred
American Idol - Masochistic
Family Guy - Open
Top Model - Middle-class
Annat -shamed
House- Sterile

7) Your mood right now?
Happy - How awful you are
Sad - How boring you are
Bored - That I get turned on only by my the garbage man
Angry - That your smell makes me vomit
Depressed – That we're related
Excited - That I may pee my pants
Nervous - The middle-east is planning their revenge on you
Worried - That your Ford sucks
Apathetic - That you need a sex-change
Silly - That I'm allergic to your earlobes
Cuddly - That Santa doesn't exist
Ashamed - That there is no solution to you being a dumb kid
Other - That your driving sucks

8) What's the color of your walls in your bedroom?
White - Our matching snoopy underwear
Yellow - Your love letters to me
Red - The pictures from Vegas
Black - Your pet rock
Blue - The couch cushions
Green - Your car
Orange - Your false teeth
Brown - Your nose hair clippers
Grey - Your toe ring
Purple - Your old New Kids on the Block blanket
Pink - The cut toenails

9) The first letter of your first name?
A/B - Your collection of butterflies
C/D - Your photo with the moustache drawn on it
E/F - Your neighbors dog
G/H - The oil tank from your car
I/J - Your left ear
K/L - The results of that blood-sample
M/N - Your glass eye
O/P - My common sense
Q/R - Your mom
S/T - Your virginity
U/V - Your criminal record
W/X – Your sucide note
Y/Z - Your credit cards

10) The last letter in your last name?
A/B - Get sick when I think of your feet
C/D - Always will remember the pep talks
E/F -Never will forget that night
G/H – Will not tell the authorities that you stole the whale from the backyard.
I/J – Mocked you behind your back constantly
K/L - Hate your cooking
M/N -  Love your sweet, sweet ass
O/P - Told my psychiatrist about the bruises
Q/R - Always wanted to break your legs
S/T -Told in my confession today about the moose poaching
U/V - Will try to forget that you broke my heart
W/X -  Haven't showered in a month
Y/Z – am better off without you

11) What do you prefer to drink?
Wine- Our friendship is ruined
Soft drink – I love Oprah
Milk - The apartment building is on fire
Water – I'm scratching my butt as you read this
Cider– I have a passionate interest for mice
Juice – You ruined my attempts at another world war.
Snapple/Vitamin water – You should get that embarrassing rash checked out
Hot chocolate – Your Cucumber-fetishism is weird
Whiskey - I'm off to lead a new life as a lemon
Beer – Thanks for the Cocaine
Other – you should stop picking your nose

12) To which country would you prefer to go on a vacation?
Thailand – Warm tingly sensations
France - Love always
Spain - With tears of sadness
China – You make me sick
Germany – Please don't hurt me
Japan - Go milk a cow
Greece - Your everlasting enemy
USA - Best of luck on the sex change
Egypt – Kiss my butt
England - Go drown yourself
 
Join the community to add your comment. Already a deviant? Log In

SOBS

1 min read
TABLET I MISS YOU
Join the community to add your comment. Already a deviant? Log In
Tagged by :spotlight-left::iconxchaise::spotlight-right:

You must post the rules.
Each person must post 6 things about themselves in their journal.
You have to choose 11 people to tag and post their icons on your journal.
Go to their page and tell them you have tagged them.
No tag backs. *
No stuff in the tagging section about "you're tagged if you're reading this". You legitimately have to tag 11 people.
Tag backs only allowed after a VERY long time (7-8 weeks) *
You must send some sort of icon to the person when you tag them that reminds you of them


Things about moi

:bulletblack: I wear the same clothes everyday. no i'm not a cartoon character fuck you
:bulletblack: I lack common sense.
:bulletblack: I still chew my nails.
:bulletblack: I can't get anything done on time.
:bulletblack: I'm a bit of an introvert.
:bulletblack: I love cartoon songs more than "real" songs.

11 people to tag? wtf man. (i shall cheat by tagging people who haven't been on in forever)
fine, I tag :iconkawaaaai:;:iconpuddingalexthompson:;:iconcuteloststar:;:icon7nire7:;:icongeorgiemadewafflez:;:iconrose-and-antauri:;:iconcookie0-0:;:iconcoinzforshort:;:iconalexgoeznutz:;:iconkillahfor333:;:iconfiregirl1015:
Join the community to add your comment. Already a deviant? Log In
So this happened.
Lol, I just saw most of my old dA journals are filled with my rage caused by my teenage hormones.
Most of them emo-ish.
I apologize once again for is every single journal spamming (including this one) and I'll go do some journal clearing mkay? Mkay.
Join the community to add your comment. Already a deviant? Log In

Haha. Ha.

1 min read
So this happened.
Right when I get my inspiration/motivation/words that end with 'ation', eveything goes boom.
And my only choice is to upload sketches.
So yeah.
You'll be seeing plenty of those.
Join the community to add your comment. Already a deviant? Log In
Featured

Dear Kawai, by me-ceptive, journal

SOBS by me-ceptive, journal

Journal tag thingy by me-ceptive, journal

Sorry for spamming ! by me-ceptive, journal

Haha. Ha. by me-ceptive, journal